Today we visited the regional "bridal showcase" in Fairfax, VA. We left feeling queasy, due both to our stomachs full of cake samples, and the disturbing distension of our wedding budget.
I entered this planning process confident that we were more than a match for sentimental shills and crass tactics of wedding merchants. The showcase was the first real skirmish. The industry drew first blood when I was turned away at the door. The guy taking tickets informed us that men must enter through another entrance, which was in fact really an exit. When I circled around from the men's entrance, I saw that the purpose of the segregation was to load the women with fliers and to sign them up for volleys of spam without any male interference.
I entered this planning process confident that we were more than a match for sentimental shills and crass tactics of wedding merchants. The showcase was the first real skirmish. The industry drew first blood when I was turned away at the door. The guy taking tickets informed us that men must enter through another entrance, which was in fact really an exit. When I circled around from the men's entrance, I saw that the purpose of the segregation was to load the women with fliers and to sign them up for volleys of spam without any male interference.
I regret I left the camera at home. One will have to imagine the arena floor and outer passageways of the Patriot Center jammed with brides, mothers and stone-faced men hauling bags full of menus and glossy pamphlets. The harpists banged out Bach, Wild Cherry's one good song blared from the live band on display. I was disappointed in the lack of blingism on display. There was only one ice-sculpture display, and only one motorized chocolate fondue vendor.
I understand completely that in a traditional world that I don't recognize on sight only women are interested in and make decisions on wedding matters. So, I came prepared to be invisible to vendors. Nonetheless I made a large number of photographers, caterers and cake makers talk to me. I assailed photographers with obviously ignorant technical questions about their equipment. I demanded to know if I could get a red velvet cake. I got carried away and asked if I could get an English style, i.e., Trinidadian black cake. The answer was a polite kind of "hell no" -- some nonesense about the bakery's unique unadulterable recipe.
I understand completely that in a traditional world that I don't recognize on sight only women are interested in and make decisions on wedding matters. So, I came prepared to be invisible to vendors. Nonetheless I made a large number of photographers, caterers and cake makers talk to me. I assailed photographers with obviously ignorant technical questions about their equipment. I demanded to know if I could get a red velvet cake. I got carried away and asked if I could get an English style, i.e., Trinidadian black cake. The answer was a polite kind of "hell no" -- some nonesense about the bakery's unique unadulterable recipe.
Primarily, we learned a lot about photography. We saw countless massive albums and video slide shows. Gigantic glossy soft focus pictures of brides flanked by the columns of famous plantations throughout the state hung over displays. The chief lesson there was that good photography costs a lot. And, that the worst frequently costs the most. The same goes for invitations; and many other essential elements. Thus, while we did not wrap up any new elements of the plan, we are better trained to go toe to toe with the industry in the coming months.
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