Wedding planning

This is the inaugural wedding-planning entry, and the first post of this collection. There will be other topics, and a different organization to house them, but I think this is a good place to start.

I must state at the outset that we are planning a snob's wedding. This is not a point of pride in itself, and it means that we have a tough road ahead of us. We proceed chastened by the shame of this bad behavior and its coming punishments. Specifically, this snob's path means that we will often decide to do things differently, sometimes in a way less costly than usual, sometimes far more. But in either case it will require the exertion of making choices where choices could be avoided.

Like more and more of our peers, we are paying for it all. We have no complaints about our means, but each dime we spend will be one we saved ourselves. And so we face a strong case for frugality. But this is consistent with our approach, because we know the binds of economy can liberate. They force care in choices and truth to self. We learned this lesson well during our five years in New York. After coming back to NoVa, its one thing about NYC I vowed not to forget on purpose.

Some choices will be driven by arbitrary requirements, some obvious, some ridiculous. There will be, clearly, no SUV limo. There are obvious alternatives to pulling up in a stretched, frosted quasi military vehicle, but not many fitting my narrow ideals (If anyone has a '65 Aston Martin DB6 or similar to let for an afternoon super cheap please contact me directly.) Also, I refuse to be wed on a plantation or in a country-club. You Virginians may know why this is both objectionable and potentially hard to avoid. Of course there will be other rigid objections. Many will succumb to reality, but their survival here and there will supply gratifying triumphs.

None of this is to say that we forgot where we came from -- we are not seeking to rise above ourselves or others, but to be ourselves. This wedding-plan is about showing who we are, and what we mean to each other. Planning it will be a way of affirming our shared values, our love . . . and fighting it out about the types of chairs for the reception.

As you wedding veterans know, the first order of battle is finding a place. On learning that you are engaged, everyone wants to know if you have set a date. Of course there is no when without a where, unless you are planning to hijack a public park for the event. In the next and the first proper installment we set out to find a place.