The Food

The story here is very likely. We ran into Laura at the Expo. She had Swedish meatballs, claimed to know our site, and did the food for our friends' wedding a couple years back. We could not remember the food at that wedding, but no matter. The meatballs cleansed the palate from those innumerable platelets of cake.

So, a few weeks of dithering later, we drove down to R&R Catering's Deathstar orbiting the beltway in Springfield, VA one morning to see what we could taste. We pulled into the compound, nestled in a desolate industrial park that was in fact some distance from Springfield's saucy urban glow. The SYSCO eighteen-wheelers crowding the parking lot evoked the school cafeteria loading dock, and promised flavor free economy. However, once inside R and R's tiny Tuscan dining salon, just off the lobby of their cubicle farm, the food spoke for itself and at length. It was the best breakfast I'd had in a long time.

With a full stomach and well satisfied, we handed over plastic and the deal was done. Certain details are yet to be resolved. Sit down versus buffet, decoration, other things. But we can mark this one off more or less.

Dress salons: The good, the bad, and the ugly

As promised, here are the wedding salons I went to and a brief review:

1. Priscilla of Boston, Tyson's Corner - My consultant was nice, hands-off and let us take pictures. She followed up with a few phone calls.

2. Nicole Miller, Tyson's II - Small shop known for dresses but their wedding gowns are more suited for beach and other informal weddings. Quality did not merit the costs of the gowns.

3. Demetrios Salon at Macy's, Tyson's II - My sister and I walked in without an appointment after seeing a sign on our way out of Tyson's after leaving Nicole Miller. They were very nice and accommodating, allowed us to take pictures. Dresses were okay but the over all impression I got was that the quality was not as nice.

4. Ellie's, Old Town Alexandria - We had an appointment but I didn't really get any help from a consultant since it was a really busy Saturday. My sister and I sneaked in a few snapshots in the dressing room - probably only possible since my consultant was helping other people.

5. Hannelore's, Old Town Alexandria - I had a really nice consultant and tried on gorgeous dresses - dresses I saw in magazines that I had fallen in love with. One of the final 4 dresses was from here. My consultant let us take a few pictures but I don't think you're really allowed to. The fitting rooms were nice and large - great customer service. But I hear that that's not necessarily the case after you order a dress through them.

5. Katherine's, Old Town Alexandria - Dresses here are more affordable but quality is still really nice. My first consultant was nice enough but not really accommodating or friendly. Since one of the four finalists came from this store, I asked for another consultant on my second visit. The other consultant was amazing and showed me many ways to accessorize the dress. I found THE dress here. They don't allow pictures.

6. Jeannette's, Manassas - The folks here seem really nice and down to earth. My consultant was amazing and spent almost two hours with me - I went on a Monday morning. The great thing about this store is that they have affordable wedding dresses as well as more couture dresses. One of the dresses I tried on here was a finalist. They don't allow pictures.

7. David's Bridal, Springfield - I figure I'd try going here even though I had heard such horror stories. It was a completely different experience - dresses can be bought off the rack and most are under $300. But after trying on such high-quality dresses, I was spoiled and couldn't forget how the other dresses I tried on were softer and of better quality.

8. Lady Hamilton, Arlington - I had an amazing, patient consultant. A dress here made it to the finals. When I went for my second appointment I tried on a dress that hadn't been there before - it was there because they had a trunk show. That dress - a Marisa dress - really helped me decide the style and look I wanted. In the end I did not go with the finalist nor the Marisa dress from here.

9. Promise for the Savvy Bride, Bethesda - This is the only place that I didn't go to with my sister, instead I went with two girlfriends. I tried on some gorgeous dresses. The consultants were super nice and they also allow you to take pictures of your favorites.

The Dress

I did it, I chose the dress. We chose the first reception hall we saw and the first photographer we met. Well, this is no different - the dress is based on the first dress that I ever fell in love with. That's all that I will say.

The process in finding the perfect dress was long and ardous. I went to nine salons and tried on about 80 to 90 dresses! (See my next post - reviews of the salons) I know it seems a lot, but at each outing I went on - I got better and better at finding the type of dresses or elements of dresses that worked best for my body type.

Trying on dresses can be overwhelming and after trying on many dresses - it's hard to remember one from the other. I couldn't have done it without my matron of honor, my ever patient sister. She got me in the dresses, took detailed notes, and provided great insight and advice. After visiting the nine salons I narrowed down the dresses to four finalists and then brought in my mom to help me with the decision. In the end, we all agreed on the dress. I'm very excited and happy with my choice.

Now, I just have to find all the accessories, shoes, etc...

Holga Power

Finding a photographer marks another milestone in the planning. We did it. As a core aesthetic element, it was in the first tier of arrangements we wanted to pin down. The person we've chosen is Linda Crayton. We interviewed a number of photographers and, classically, she was the first person we saw.


Interviewing photographers, I was never really sure what we are supposed to find out from them, at least what we could not see on their typically luxurious websites. Of course, at the least, one should meet the person who will be hanging around your family and best friends for a few hours without your mediation. This person, unlike, say, the priest or the caterer, will be part of your wedding -- she will be a guest. In this regard, we were less thrilled with one pair whose lair, I mean, studio, featured a pool table for their "boudoir" pictures (briefly, nudes with awkward leg crossing poses). The unforunate pictures were also in evidence. This couple also insisted they would do whatever we wanted, which, as I said before, is not helpful. Another couple we met in their ultra-professional studio and we were professionally charmed. But they cost too much. Another guy, we met in a Starbucks in Bethesda, next to a long separated duo reconnecting furtively across bustling freeway of sexual tension and lattes, and a women in pastel sweats at a crackling laptop. Nice pictures, though.

We drove out to Linda Crayton's Great Falls rambler where we saw more of what is on the luxurious website. Albums sold for more than used Hondas, precious little books of perfect proofs, CDRoms, all that. She showed us her fabulous digital equipment, answering my boldly ignorant technical questions. I could have been looking at a nuclear bomb. We also saw the pictures of flowers in her powder room and the photo of her and her husband at a Moulin Rouge party in the hallway. This party reportedly may be associated with the birth of their first towheaded toddler. In her studio we noted interesting framed prints -- square, raw yet ethereal. These were taken with a Holga. The Holga is budget -- it has an actual socialist history -- and a plastic lens. Facility with this simple instrument showed curiosity, personal passion and possible virtuosity. I hope that rings true in the results.

Pictures

Photography may not seem like the most urgent matter at this stage, but I reckon it has the potential to consume wads of time. So we resolved to start the consumption early. Photography is a detail inviting ruinous micromanagement---we all now have nice cameras and take many many pictures. Some of them are pretty nice. One might thus easily presume that a professional can be given good advice on how to do their job. But I know that's wrong. I'm trying to back away from that illusion, and take a more reasonable approach.

Foremost, we want a photographer that knows what to do. At the bridal expo we met lots of photographers who told us they focus on giving clients exactly what they want. I don't tell my clients that what I want is to give them exactly the summary judgement motion they want. What I want is for the photographer's to take good pictures (and to take the necessary battery of family shots).

Luckily my fiancee and I have similar ideas about what we want in terms of style -- when we find it, we plan to let the photographer do her thing unmolested by hacks' advice. As for that style, we are taken with the current fashion of "journalistic" slash "documentary" wedding shots. These tags imply that the pictures capture, with the unbiased and searching eye of the responsible professional journalist, the unvarnished sentiment of moments, in lieu of some staged presentation. Obviously, the pictures only capture the look of being unvarnished. Substance as style is the modern cry for authenticity in a mostly fabricated world, or something. I feel like we may be coming in mid-fad into a hackneyed academic trope, but we like how it looks. And it wouldn't be the first time.

Letting a photographer loose requires that she is good, at technique and in compositions. I.e., we don't want numerous close ups of wine glasses and shoes. But while we prefer an artist with a point of view, so to speak, we don't want an angry auteur making giving every photo the unnegotiably raw power of the subject. People must look good in the pictures. We've begun searching for this reasonable auteur in some instructive conversations discussed in forthcoming entries.

Decision #1: Location

One of the first things my fiancé and I agreed on when we began wedding planning was the kind of venue we wanted. Country clubs, plantations, and hotels were definitely out. This narrowed our choices to houses and gardens.

The first time we saw Hendry House we were unable to actually go inside the house. But we walked around the grounds and peeked into the windows. We liked it enough to come back for more. We fell even more in love with the house when we had a walk through with Sharon, the site coordinator. The grounds, the house and it's locale were perfect. Arlington is, after all, one of Dave's great loves - after me, orange juice and Formula 1. But since it was only the second venue we looked at we had to prove to ourselves that the location was the one. The next weekends were spent visiting and reviewing other houses and locations: AHS River Farm, Woodend, Stone Mansion, Cabell's Mill, Strathmore Hall, and Brookside Gardens.

We put temporary holds on the top contenders. We carefully weighed our options - discussing each venues' beauty and flaws. But what helped me decide was when I closed my eyes and imagined my wedding in each of the contenders. After that it was clear that Hendry was the location for us. We called Sharon to reserve our date.

One down, 100+ more decisions to make...

Ghost at the Expo

Today we visited the regional "bridal showcase" in Fairfax, VA. We left feeling queasy, due both to our stomachs full of cake samples, and the disturbing distension of our wedding budget.

I entered this planning process confident that we were more than a match for sentimental shills and crass tactics of wedding merchants. The showcase was the first real skirmish. The industry drew first blood when I was turned away at the door. The guy taking tickets informed us that men must enter through another entrance, which was in fact really an exit. When I circled around from the men's entrance, I saw that the purpose of the segregation was to load the women with fliers and to sign them up for volleys of spam without any male interference.

I regret I left the camera at home. One will have to imagine the arena floor and outer passageways of the Patriot Center jammed with brides, mothers and stone-faced men hauling bags full of menus and glossy pamphlets. The harpists banged out Bach, Wild Cherry's one good song blared from the live band on display. I was disappointed in the lack of blingism on display. There was only one ice-sculpture display, and only one motorized chocolate fondue vendor.

I understand completely that in a traditional world that I don't recognize on sight only women are interested in and make decisions on wedding matters. So, I came prepared to be invisible to vendors. Nonetheless I made a large number of photographers, caterers and cake makers talk to me. I assailed photographers with obviously ignorant technical questions about their equipment. I demanded to know if I could get a red velvet cake. I got carried away and asked if I could get an English style, i.e., Trinidadian black cake. The answer was a polite kind of "hell no" -- some nonesense about the bakery's unique unadulterable recipe.

Primarily, we learned a lot about photography. We saw countless massive albums and video slide shows. Gigantic glossy soft focus pictures of brides flanked by the columns of famous plantations throughout the state hung over displays. The chief lesson there was that good photography costs a lot. And, that the worst frequently costs the most. The same goes for invitations; and many other essential elements. Thus, while we did not wrap up any new elements of the plan, we are better trained to go toe to toe with the industry in the coming months.